A New Beginning

The spring of my eighth-grade year taught me the valuable lesson of forgiveness. Spring fever had taken its place among the students, including me. When the bell finally rang to end our school day, everyone rushed out the door toward their respective yellow bus. We were required to walk across the field from our junior high school to the high school, where the buses were waiting to be boarded.
Everyone was in a playful mood as the warm spring breezes stirred the air around us. Now, I am not about to confess any great sin. However, one of the coaches who escorted us that afternoon caught my attention quite sternly as he wrote my name in his pocket notepad. I still remember the embarrassment of the moment and the fear of the principal’s office. It was a Friday afternoon; I would have the weekend to ponder going back to school on Monday morning.
That evening, I barely touched my food. After helping Mom clean the kitchen, I bathed and went straight to bed. The thought of being in trouble and having to tell my parents had me tossing and turning all night. Saturday wasn’t any better. My usual shopping trip with Mom fell silent, and afternoon wrestling matches on the TV with Dad were not the same. Finally, after another sleepless night, I confessed to the incident over Sunday breakfast. I was surprised at how quickly forgiveness came.
Isn’t that the way of life: often, we will carry a burden so heavy that it will interrupt the joy of our lives. Because of the fear of punishment and disappointing my parents, I held onto the guilt, causing me to lose the moments we usually shared. My conscience was clear once I talked with them, and Sunday proved a much better day. Desmond Tutu once said, “Forgiveness says you are given another chance to make a new beginning.” That Sunday was my new beginning.
I have learned that new beginnings are incredible and that reconciliation is a sweet release when forgiveness comes. As we hold on to guilt and contemplate unforgiveness, we carry a heavy burden that interrupts our relationships. We are encouraged in scripture to acknowledge our faults to each other and pray for one another to be healed (James 5:16). Confession and forgiveness are the greatest healers of life. When we look to God for forgiveness, He does not hesitate to offer His grace; He remains faithful, eagerly awaiting our return to Him (1 John 1:9).
Did you know forgiveness is two-fold? It has been said that forgiving someone is more about your relationship with God than with the person. We must be tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as Christ has forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32). I wonder how many times Jesus has cried from the cross, “Father, forgive them; they do not know what they are doing.” When Peter asked the Lord about forgiving others, Jesus said to forgive seven times seventy. (Matthew 18:21-35).
Maybe the 50-year-old confession of an eighth grader seems like a minor incident; nonetheless, I learned the danger of holding onto guilt instead of releasing it. I have learned to give grace, to receive grace, and to forgive myself. I have also discovered that forgiveness flows from Calvary seventy times seven (plus eternity), and our Heavenly Father is waiting to resume a new beginning with each of us.
Psalms 32:5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin.

Cheryl Mixon-Cruce is Pastor of Ochlockonee Bay United Methodist Church and Sopchoppy United Methodist Church.