Forgiving others, forgiving oneself

By CHERYL CRUCE

I love writing about memories of the past.
 As the youngest child of a large family, I had plenty of opportunities to learn from the mistakes of my siblings. However, those siblings always believed I was spoiled because I was the baby. Believe me, I played that trump card.
Honestly, Mom and Dad were fair to each of us. Dad walked with quiet strength; his word and handshake were his bonds. Mom complimented Dad’s assuredness with her own brand of strength and truth. Together they instilled faith, forgiveness, and a work ethic in their children that continue to carry us today.
Work, I cannot remember a time that our hands were not calloused. Faith, we were taught faith, and each learned to fan the flames of faith as we grew – forgiveness of others was also taught as a valued life lesson. We were taught, according to scripture, that forgiveness is seven times 70; we were not allowed to keep tally marks against the other.
The seven times 70 also includes the forgiveness of self. I have learned to forgive others and am still learning to forgive myself. Granted, I am not a significant breaker of the original Ten Commandments. Nonetheless, I have had my share of mistakes and regrets. “Forgiveness is the greatest gift you can give yourself” (Maya Angelou). It is time to give and to receive the gift.
When we do not forgive ourselves for the past, we give the enemy a grip on our spirit that hinders our relationship with God (Ephesians 4:27). The enemy sets traps of many kinds to deter our faith. Often that hindrance comes in the form of recalling the past. When we remember our faults and disappointments of yesterday, feelings of unworthiness begin to control our actions of today.
A social media meme reads, “Father, forgive me for the times I craved a place at the table You would have flipped” (unknown). I wonder what fruit was upon the table when Jesus cleared the temple. Certainly, unforgiveness has rested as a centerpiece for many. The Gospel of Matthew reads that forgiving another will lead to our forgiveness. Repeatedly Jesus brought physical wellness to many. However, “your sins are forgiven” was first spoken to bring spiritual healing.
We serve a God of grace whose word teaches that our failings are not only forgiven they are also forgotten (Isaiah 43:25). They are cast as far as the East is from the West, not to be remembered anymore (Psalm 103:12). Scripture tells us that when we seek Him and turn from our wrong, He is quick to forgive (1 John 1:9), refreshing us with His presence (Acts 3:19). If this is the promise of God, why can we not receive it?  
I know we cannot change our yesterday. However, today is a brand-new story; grace is its author. We can choose a new centerpiece for our table, one of mercy for others and ourselves. It is time we let go of our past and walk in the healing of our Lord.
Chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, and discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, and quick to forgive an offense. Forgive quickly and thoroughly as the Master forgave you. Regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It is your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. Colossians 3:12-14 (The Message)

Cheryl Mixon-Cruce is Pastor of Ochlockonee Bay United Methodist Church and Sopchoppy United Methodist Church.