BEREAVEMENT COLUMN

When a child is lost

By TRACY RENEE LEE

The loss of a child is absolutely the most horrific experience a family can endure. There are so many things that are lost. The experience of watching your sweet babe grow into a toddler, his first steps, words, and the joys and wonders of childhood are suddenly gone.
Additionally, the experiences of adolescence, the first date, first crush, first kiss, first break-up, and the joys of becoming a young adult are lost too. Then there’s college, the wedding, grandchildren, and much more that we take for granted. Then suddenly, all is lost. Without notice, the grim reaper snatches our beloved babies from us, our joys become heartache, and the world is never the same.
Families that lose a child suffer so much. None of us can begin to comprehend the pain, guilt, anguish, self-doubt, and self-loathing that a parent who has lost their child suffers. Neither do any of us want to experience such tragedy. Why is it that when something so tragic happens, a particular group of people want to speculate and share their darkness of blame and ridicule? I don’t understand it.
I live in an amazing community. The people are down-to-earth and loving and have pulled together to support many people who have suffered tragedy. I am grateful for their gentle love and support for those who suffer. It is one of the reasons I chose to move back to this particular area after my husband retired from the military.
However, others living in the larger cities outside our community could be more supportive. As a funeral director, one is privy to certain confidential information, and it is sad to see people who do not have any information speculate about the tragic loss.
This week, I have a tragic case at my funeral home. I have known this family for many years. They are such sweet people who serve others and who serve God. They have always been there for me whenever anything has gone awry. They have rescued me and comforted me when I needed it. They are wonderful people with generous hearts.
When you know someone who you can’t say a cross or negative word about, how do you shield them and help them through such tragic and unkind circumstances? The best thing is to look to our Savior for our example.
“So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” John 8:7
I have served many families who have lost children. I was even my own grandson’s funeral director. The loss of a child is absolutely the most horrific experience a family can endure.
Please reflect on how you would feel if such tragedy struck your family and take into account the admonitions of our Savior. After reflecting, I’m sure you would rather offer support and grace, as He did, rather than casting stones, as some do.

My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a Certified Grief Counselor (GC-C), Funeral Director (FDIC), published author, syndicated columnist, Podcaster, and founder of the “Mikey Joe Children’s Memorial” and Heaven Sent, Corp. I write books, weekly bereavement articles, Podcasts, and Grief BRIEFs related to understanding and coping with grief. I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award.

For additional encouragement, please visit my podcast “Deadline” on Spotify and follow me on Instagram at “Deadline_TracyLee.”