BEREAVEMENT COLUMN

Angels from afar

By TRACY RENEE LEE

I go to church in the church that I was born in. Almost everyone I go to church with is a relative of mine. There are a few families that go to my church who are not related to me. I have known these families all my life, so although they are not, they seem like relatives.
People shared their thoughts, feelings, and beliefs this past Sunday at church. Most everyone who shared spoke of family members who have passed on. Some spoke of parents, others of grandparents, and some spoke of children. Most of the people being remembered were my family members. It was a bittersweet meeting because it was lovely hearing stories about their lives, but sad.
Each person expressed their love for their decedents and shared memorable experiences. One of my cousins spoke of her mother dying of cancer while her father suffered Alzheimer’s. She told us of her dad’s difficulties after his wife died and how difficult it was to see him suffer so profoundly. She said that one day, right before he passed, he had a moment of clarity and shared his testimony of God the Father and his son, Jesus Christ. That sweet testimony shared by her father brings her so much comfort because she knows that even though he didn’t know who he was, he knew who God was.
My brother was sitting in the pew behind me. He recently lost his wife. He was so sad. It broke my heart to see him in such pain. When we love someone with all that we are, the grief we suffer upon their death is unimaginable. It is a miracle that we survive it. His pain was so great that he could not control his sobbing.
I have lost two grandsons. I thought that I would die, too, from the pain of losing them. It took me years before I could speak about it. It has been five years since my first grandson was lost and there are moments during my days that still sting my eyes with tears of yearning for him. His little brother was lost this past Christmas. Experiencing the loss of my first grandson did not make the loss of my second grandson any easier. The pain is stacked like bricks on my shoulders. The weight is, at times, unbearable.
During the 1980s, a type of picture was sold that hid an image in it. After staring at the picture intently, the hidden image would suddenly appear like magic.
I recently visited a funeral home in another town. As I walked through the halls, the owner told me that the painter who had painted her funeral home had painted angels hidden on the walls like those pictures in the 1980s. I spent hours looking at her walls from every angle possible. I never saw any angels.
Sunday morning, before I rose from bed, I had a dream. In the dream, I was staring at a wall in the funeral home that I had recently visited. Like my visit to this funeral home, I was staring at the walls, looking for angels hiding in the paint. Suddenly, just like those 1980’s pictures, I saw angels on the walls. I wondered what was happening, and I prayed for inspiration. My impressions were that angels are among us. Even though we cannot see them, they are there, just like those hidden images in the 1980’s pictures. They are there helping us, but we don’t have eyes to see them or ears to hear them. They are there to guide us spiritually if we will only open ourselves to their influence.
I believe that angels are indeed among us. I believe we are surrounded by loved ones from the other side who want the best for us and try to help us reach our greatest potential. I believe that love and family ties transcend death and that one day, we will reunite with our loved ones when we die. These beliefs bring me comfort as I know that one day I will die and that I will worry and love my family members who are still living. I do not want my influence and relationship with my children and grandchildren to die with my death. I want to protect and guide them as a guardian angel. I believe these things are possible, and I have faith that they are true.
My dream Sunday morning brought me great comfort and relief. I hope that my cousins and brother feel that same comfort from our family members beyond our mortal restrictions. I hope they spiritually connect and feel the love our loved ones surround us with just beyond our gaze.
If you have lost a loved one, I hope you can feel their love surrounding you, guiding and protecting you from afar. I pray for your peace and comfort this week, and I hope that happiness finds you and blankets you with love.

My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a Certified Grief Counselor (GC-C), Funeral Director (FDIC), published author, syndicated columnist, Podcaster, and founder of the “Mikey Joe Children’s Memorial” and Heaven Sent, Corp. I write books, weekly bereavement articles, Podcasts, and Grief BRIEFs related to understanding and coping with grief. I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award.

For additional encouragement, please visit my podcast “Deadline” on Spotify and follow me on Instagram at “Deadline_TracyLee.”