Oh, for the life of an old geezer

I am not given to complaining, except when I’m awake. That’s according to The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage.
Lately, I’ve been leaning towards a complaining attitude. I’ve reached the point of being an old geezer. I’m older than both of my grandfathers, and in three years, I’ll be up to where my father was when he passed away.
I don’t think of myself as old, just older.
There are some benefits to getting older, but I’ve discovered just as many negative aspects. I’m not as energetic as I used to be. I can’t walk as fast as I used to. When someone talks to me, I have to think a bit about their name.
Don’t let me get on about my health issues. When I was young, I didn’t have all of these health issues, but now, I’m at that point in life where I do have health issues.
Seeing my doctors is second only to seeing The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. All the nurses in the various medical places I go know me by my first name. I don’t know if that’s good or if it’s bad. I’m going to lean in the direction of good. After all, at my age I’m leaning in some direction.
When I was younger, I never thought about getting old. Every time I celebrated a birthday, it never occurred to me that this would continue until I became an old geezer. At the time, I used to make fun of my old grandfathers. Now, much to my disgust, I have become my old grandfathers.
I’m glad they’re not alive to see that I have become just like them. They would’ve died laughing.
My father passed away when he was 5 years older than I am right now. So, in 5 years, I will be at my father’s level. I’m unsure what level that is, and I do not even want to know.
I remember that, as kids, my siblings and I would sit around and laugh at our grandparents. I’m wondering if my grandchildren are sitting around laughing at me! I wouldn’t blame them if they were.
The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I recently ate lunch together. I suppose we were celebrating something, but for the life of me, I can’t remember what it was. We were at a restaurant enjoying ourselves.
When the waitress came to our table to take our order, she asked how we were, and I responded, “Well, for an old geezer, we were doing fine.”
She smiled at me and said, “Does that mean that you both are senior citizens?”
I usually take offense at that classification. But under the circumstances I nodded my head and said, “Yes, we are senior citizens but I prefer old geezers.”
Looking at me, the waitress smiled and said, “You are in luck today. We have a senior citizen discount on everything on the menu.”
I looked up at her and said, “Why, yes. We’re both senior citizens.”
“In that case, you can get a 20% discount on everything you order today.”
She took our coffee order and then went to get it for us. As she was gone, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage said, “Are we old geezers or senior citizens?”
I smiled and said, “Today we are senior citizens and tomorrow will go back to being old geezers.”
“I guess it’s only about the money for you,” she smiled.
After thinking for a moment, I finally responded, “I’ve never heard of an old geezer discount. Have you?”
She shook her head and said, “I’ll let you be a senior citizen today and will see what tomorrow might bring.”
That next week, whenever we went out to a restaurant and, the waitress would say, “How are you doing today?” I would always respond by saying, “Do you have any senior citizen’s discounts today?”
If they said “no,” I would always respond by saying, “I’m just an old geezer today.”
If they said “yes,”” I would respond by saying, “I’m a senior citizen today.”
I’m trying to determine the differences between an old geezer and a senior citizen. Apart from the discount, I can’t find any difference between the two. I’m an old geezer one day, and the next day, I’m a senior citizen. Maybe I have the case of dementia.
At one restaurant this past week, the waiter came up and greeted me. I was having a rather crazy day, to put it mildly, so I told him, “I’m just an old geezer today.”
“Well,” said the waiter, “this is my last day here at this restaurant and so I’m going to give you an old geezer discount. You sorta remind me of my grandfather.”
I was so sorry that The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage wasn’t with me. We could have enjoyed a two-way ticket for the old geezer discount. She would have been happy, I think. If I keep from calling her an old geezer, my day is happy.
In thinking about this I remembered a verse in the Bible that addresses old age. “They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing” (Psalm 92:14).
God still has work for me even as an old geezer. Finding that work is the joy of my life each day. This is not based on what I use to do, but what God has for me today.).

Dr. James L. Snyder lives in Ocala, FL with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Telephone 1-352-216-3025, e-mail jamessnyder51@gmail.com, website www.jamessnyderministries.com.