TAKES A LICKIN’ AND KEEPS ON TICKIN’
By MARJ LAW
Your wife opens her big present from you at Christmas. You watch her face as she peels back the paper and finds...
A brand new handgun.
What?
She didn’t jump up and down and hug your neck? What is that peculiar look on her face? Does she pause a moment and then say “thank you very much” in that polite tone of voice that says: “you shouldn’t have?”
Yep. You really shouldn’t have.
She’s on the road a lot, or she’s home a lot without you. Being a good husband, you want her to be safe. That’s why you bought her this handgun.
But you shouldn’t have.
Turning the question of gift-giving a gun around, would you want your wife to buy a handgun for you?
She might say: “Oh, look at this cute little gun. It fits my hand perfectly. I’m buying it for my hubby. It’s so small, it will slide right into his pocket. When he’s not carrying it, I can put it in my purse. And it’s purple; not black like all the rest. Why not have a pretty gun?” Yeah, I can hear you gagging right now. But just like you don’t want her to purchase a handgun for you, she doesn’t want you to buy a handgun for her.
You may know a lot more about guns than she. However…
I’ll bet, in most cases, your hands are not the same size. When the grip feels “right” in your hand, it may be too large for her hand (or vice-versa).
You’re a good guy and you want her safe. So, you’ve found her a 45-caliber handgun. It has great “take-down power,” and if she hits Mr. Bad with just one round, he’s probably a goner.
Has she ever shot a gun before? What caliber has she shot? Has she taken a beginner class at the range, or a concealed carry class? Is she strong enough to handle this .45? Will she practice with it, or is it too uncomfortable for her to manage?
What you want her to carry, and what she is comfortable carrying, may be two very different calibers.
Does she plan to carry in her purse or on her body? Will the gun go in her pocket? Will she carry inside or outside her waistband? Have you put aside sufficient cash to find a holster that will fit the new gun?
Also, will she want different sights than the ones on the new gun? If so, does she prefer fiber optic or red dot sights? If she wants either, do you know someone who will put the sights on the gun?
If you may need accessories, like a red dot sight, does the new gun have a place to mount the sight, or can you buy a mount that will fit your gun? Is it even possible to put a red dot on your gun?
Does the new holster accommodate the sights you have put on?
Have you got another $30 - $40 for an UpLULA to make loading easier? Speaking of accessories, what about a laser? Does she want one to use for practice? She will also need a range bag, and ear and eye protection.
Did you find a gun that has ammunition for a reasonable price? Some ammunition is either difficult to find or very expensive.
Gosh. The price of the gun alone is hard on the wallet. Now, you might have to add the cost of new sights, a person to mount those sights, a holster, range bag, eye and ear protection, maybe a laser, and an UpLULA. What other accessories may she need? Does she want fancier grips? Are they even available for the new gun?
Does she have a strong feeling for either a hammer-fired or striker-fired gun? Do you already have a safe for when anyone comes to the house?
Another question that many people forget to ask is: is she able to fieldstrip/clean the gun? (And are you able to fieldstrip that gun?) Some are pretty difficult. I find most 1911s hard to take apart to clean.
What if? What if you already bought her the gun, and it’s not one she likes or can manage? This is a real problem. When hundreds of dollars are at stake, what do you do?
If your wife thinks she can learn to handle the gun with some proficiency, then someone experienced can take her to a range, explain safety rules, and teach her how to shoot. Many classes are available, too.
Since you’ve purchased the gun, it is now considered “used.” Even if you yourself never fired it, now it is a used gun. A used gun doesn’t fetch the price of a new gun, even if you go back to the original gun store.
Is there no hope at all for the gun?
Does she absolutely not want a gun at all?
You can try to sell it yourself. Yes, you’ll take a loss for this “used” gun.
You can take it back to the original store and hope they’re merciful. They’ll understand the situation, but remember, it’s still “used.”
If your wife does really want a handgun, then you can take the original one to the gun shop and they may take it back in trade for a gun she wants and likes. There’s a good chance the dealer will make a trade to suit you both.
Remember, the bottom line is that you’re the good guy who loves his wife and wants her to be protected. This won’t happen if the gun is forever tucked away in a safe and never used. Find out what she does want. Bite the bullet and get her that.
Even if it’s the gold necklace she’s been admiring at the local jewelry store.
Marj Law is the former director of Keep Wakulla County Beautiful who has become an avid shooter in retirement.