Revolver vs Semi-Automatic Handguns
By MARJ LAW
Sam (Samantha) and Edie are twins. They are identical in appearance, and they both agreed they should have 9mm handguns.
I’m sitting in a booth behind them in an eating establishment. Their voices are raised; maybe because of their choices of libations. Not meaning to eavesdrop, I can hear almost every word of their conversation.
“Well, we both bought our 9mm handguns,” begins Sam, “but I got the best one. The Charter Arms Target Pit Bull 4.2” barreled gun makes the most sense.”
“Why do you think that?” questions Edie. “I like my Smith & Wesson Equalizer just fine.”
“Good thing, since you already bought it,” retorts Sam. “My Pitty is better. It’s a revolver. All you do is point and shoot. How simple is that?”
“Goodness, Sam, I seem to recall that we both graduated Wakulla High School a few years back. Do you think we’re too stupid to learn to use a semi-automatic?” Edie is clearly insulted.
“Well, no, but loading a revolver is a lot easier than loading a semi-automatic.”
“Ha! Those moon clips are a pain. Moon clips are a lot of bother for only 5 rounds.”
“What are you talking about?” defends Sam. “My Pit Bull doesn’t take moon clips. You just pop a round in each chamber. Easy peasy.”
“Oh, yeah, I remember. Although most revolvers need moon clips, your Pit Bull doesn’t need them. But still, Sam, your revolver only takes 5 rounds. You’re practically a new shooter. Are you so confident in your shooting that 5 rounds will take down an angry Mr. Bad? And what if Mr. Bad has a friend? 5 rounds aren’t many!”
“Okay, you got me on that one. But your Equalizer only takes 10 rounds.”
“Yeah,” and Edie is sounding smug. “Only one of the magazines holds 10 rounds. But my gun also came with a 13 and a 15-round magazine.”
“I forgot about those. But loading them will be hard on your hands. By the time you have a few rounds in a magazine, your thumbs will be sore from all that pushing against the magazine spring.”
“You forget, Sam, that my Equalizer also came with an UpLula. Not bad to get 3 magazines, an UpLula and a gun for such a low price. Besides, I don’t like a safety and your Pit Bull has one.”
Sam is quiet for a moment. Then she replies: “Oh, yes it does. In a way. My Pit Bull has a really long and hard trigger pull. It’s so long and hard that you really mean to shoot when you pull that trigger. The hard trigger acts as a safety. So, I don’t have to have a safety. Your Equalizer doesn’t have a safety and it does have an easy trigger pull. I think it needs a safety.”
Edie objects. “It does too have a safety. The safety’s in the grip. If you don’t have a firm hold on the Equalizer, the gun can’t shoot. It’s that thing on the back of the grip. Your Pit Bull’s long hard pull makes it no fun to shoot at all. My Equalizer’s trigger pull is 5 pounds, 10 ounces according to our Lyman Digital Scale. Your Pit Bull comes in at close to 10 pounds. That’s a big difference.”
“I’ll give you that one. A 10-pound pull is kinda strong, but it won’t seem like much because I intend to practice a lot at the Wakulla County Sheriff’s Office range.”
“Good thing. I’ll be practicing too,” Edie retorts. “Besides having a hard trigger pull, your Pit Bull has a longer barrel and it’s wider. It must weigh a ton more than my Equalizer.”
“You’d think so, but my Pit Bull weighs in at 23 ounces, and your Equalizer weighs 22.9 ounces. That’s about as close as you can get in weight. Besides, my gun is stainless, and your gun is a polymer gun.”
“Nothing wrong with polymer,” says Edie. “And the Equalizer’s slide is metal. That’s where it counts. Besides, have you ever tried to clean a stainless gun? It’s really hard to get all the shooting deposits off the stainless steel.”
“That’s just because you can see the dark shooting residue on my stainless gun. Your Equalizer gets just as dirty. You just don’t see it as well as on my Pit’s shiny stainless finish.”
“Yeah, well speaking of your stainless gun, did you notice how hard it is to see the front sight on your Pit Bull? It’s stainless, like the rest of the gun. That makes it too hard to see. I prefer my big white dot sights.”
“I’ve already figured that one.” Sam is loud and proud. “I got me some bright orange nail polish and covered the entire ramp of the front sight.”
“You tell her!” booms a man from the booth behind them. “A revolver is the only way to go!”
Edie isn’t taking that sitting down. Her gaze rakes over the large man who is now standing up. “For you, maybe. You can carry a big gun, but we’re built small. I can carry my Equalizer inside my waistband, but I’d never be able to carry the Pit Bull.”
The man winks at the young women. “Yep, lil’ ladies. I believe you’re right. If you were carrying the Pit Bull, I bet I’d see it.”
Both gals avoid looking at him, so he sits back down.
“I don’t like a hammer gun,” says Edie. “Your revolver is a hammer gun.”
“Edie,” returns Sam patiently. “Your Equalizer is a hammer gun, remember?”
“Darn. You’re right,” agrees Edie. “At first, I thought it was a striker-fired gun because the back of the gun was flat, and I couldn’t see the hammer. But then, I locked back the slide and turned it upside-down. Sure enough, there was the firing pin. Oh well, I still like my Equalizer best.”
“And, Edie,” continues Sam after a short pause, “the Pit Bull has a great big grip. You can hold on tight with its rubberized finish. And it has finger grooves, too.”
“Mebbe so, but my Equalizer is smaller and narrower. The grip is great for a small hand,” retorts Edie.
“Both our grips are pretty well suited to our size,” agrees Sam. “But your semi-automatic is hard to take down to clean. Revolvers are easy.”
“Oh, really, Sam. You think I can’t lock back the slide, then turn a lever at a 90’ angle? Then you can move the slide right off the frame. People make it sound like semi-automatics are so difficult to learn.”
Sam and Edie finish their meals and ask for the check.
“It’s been taken care of,” says the server.
Sam and Edie look around. The big guy from the booth behind them stands and smiles.
“You all have a great evening!”
Sam and Edie walk arm-in-arm to the door, giggling.
“Maybe we should have been a little nicer to him!” I hear Edie say.
“Yeah, but then we’d have to hear all about his revolver!”
Marj Law is the former director of Keep Wakulla County Beautiful who has become an avid shooter in retirement.