Retiring my insanity

After some months of intense reflection, I have come to the conclusion that it is time for my insanity to retire. The evidence before me is so overwhelming that I’m not sure I have any other choice. And believe me, I have looked.
Not that I haven’t benefited from my insanity. Looking back over my years, I can’t help but notice how my insanity has been a positive thing in my life. I never would’ve thought this way before, but after considerable thinking, I believe this is so.
Not too many people can see the positive side of insanity. However, in my reflection, I have discovered how effective it has been in my life and in my relationships. At the time, I never would’ve thought so.
For example, I may be discussing something with someone, a friend of mine, and they look at me rather strangely and say, “Are you insane?”
At the time, I was a little offended by that remark. And I would reply, “I am not insane and I am offended by you saying that.”
Reflecting on that situation, I can’t help but agree with my friend that I was indeed insane. But it helped me out of a little situation there and many more such situations.
Being insane helps explain a lot of things in my life, especially my life as a husband.
Often, I will be explaining something to The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. She will look at me with one of “her looks”, put both hands on her hips and say very dramatically, “Are you insane?”
The last time she said that to me, I replied, “Yes, I am insane. Thanks for noticing.”
She just walked away, shaking her head.
In retrospect, that explains a lot of things in my life that, at the time, I didn’t understand what was going on. Now, because I have accepted my insanity, everything I do I can explain. That sure is satisfying.
Another positive side to insanity is that you don’t have to live up to the standards of everybody around you. All my friends believe they are perfect and expect me to live up to their standard. For years, I have tried to do that. I have discovered that there are no perfect roots in my life anywhere.
Now that I understand the insanity aspect of my life, I no longer have to live up to other people’s standards. I can relax and enjoy life as it is without fulfilling other people’s expectations nor being intimidated by them. When I came to understand that my life took on a very positive attitude.
Now that I have reached the point in life where I will be retiring my insanity, I need to make some changes.
No longer will I accept my failures and go on with life. Now that the insanity element has been retired, I need to take more responsibility for my actions. That was not something I really understood when I began thinking about retiring my insanity.
I know it’s a good idea for me to retire my insanity, but I sure am going to miss it. I can’t remember the times when, at the end of the week, I sat in my easy chair drinking some coffee and reflecting on all the insane elements of my week. Those were wonderful reflections and really encouraged me.
Perfection is now going to be a factor in my consideration. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with that. Dealing with my insanity was a lot better than dealing with my perfection.
However, I will give it a try. I’m waiting for The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage to one day look at me with both hands on her hips and say, “Are you perfect or what?” That certainly will be a turning point in my retirement from insanity. She always noticed my insanity; now let’s see if she notices my perfection.
I must confess that I will allow my insanity occasionally to come out of retirement just for a moment. After all, life is hard without something to support it.
At this point in my life, being personally responsible for your activities and actions is a real hard deal. I never expected it to be this hard, but then, that’s life. As I enter into this new phase of my life, I’m going to do it with a great deal of positivity. I will fail a lot, but it is failure that enables a person to work on their perfection.
I know I will miss my insanity, but I’m going to have to get used to it. Life goes on, and I need to keep up.
There will be some moments in my life when I will get a little confused, and without knowing it, my insanity will reappear. There’s little I can do about that. But, I plan to work on being more perfect than I was yesterday.
Starting on my perfection journey I was reminded of an interesting verse of scripture.
Philippians 3:12 – “Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.”
I agree with Paul that I’ve not reached perfection, but I am striving after that perfect in Christ. I’m not influenced by other people’s standard, but only by God’s standards reflected in Christ.

Dr. James L. Snyder lives in Ocala, FL with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Telephone 1-352-216-3025, e-mail jamessnyder51@gmail.com, website www.jamessnyderministries.com.